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of the week. con carne. store.

Alasdair Mac Colla - Gaelic strongman, Scottish hero, and all-around bastard.

Matilda of Canossa - Italian warrior-princess who served as the Pope's personal bodyguard.

Frederick Barbarossa - German ruler who rebuilt and expanded the Holy Roman Empire.

Caterina Sforza - Crazy medieval tyrant who subjected her foes to ruthless tortures.

Baldwin IV of Jerusalem - The Leper King of Jerusalem led the charge that destroyed Saladin's invading armies.

Grigory Rasputin - Infamous "Mad Monk" of Imperial Russia.

Jean de Valette - Medieval commander who led 100 Knights Hospitaller in a brave defense against 200,000 Turkish warriors.

St. Michael the Archangel - The Patron Saint of soldiers, cops, and shanking Satan in the face with an icepick.

Julie D'Aubigny - French opera singer who killed ten men in duels and once snuck into a convent to bang a nun.

Fredegund - The Middle Ages' most bloodthirsty and ruthless queen.

John Hunyadi - The White Knight of Hungary.

Saint Nicholas - The patron saint of prostitutes, murderers, children, sailors, and punching heretics in the face.

Hernan Cortez - Conquistador who conquered the New World's most badass civilization with 600 soldiers.

Adrian Carton de Wiart - Psychotic one-eyed British Army officer wounded 11 times in 3 wars across 3 continents.

Isabella of Castile - Seized the throne of Castile, drove the Moors from Spain, created the Inquisition, and financed the discovery of the New World.

King Clovis - The bloodthirsty Germanic barbarian asskicker who created the modern French state as we know it.

Cardinal Richelieu - The diabolical mastermind who turned France from a bankrupt war-torn country into the most dominant political superpower on the European continent.

Santa Anna - Elected President of Mexico eleven times (and deposed twelve times), the villain of the Alamo rocked a prosthetic leg, brought bubble gum to the United States, has a sea shanty named after him, once led a military coup against himself.

Edward Longshanks - The Hammer of the Scots.

Charlemagne - The military genius who crushed the enemies of Christendom, united Europe under one ruler, and brought the continent out of the Dark Ages.





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