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of the week. con carne. store.

Alexander Karelin - Ivan Drago meets Zangief. Only real.

Dick Winters - Hero of Band of Brothers.

Max Hardberger - This guy steals $10 million cargo ships from pirates. Professionally.

Maurice Richard - One of hockey's all-time toughest men.

Gordon and Shughart - Delta Force snipers who fought a heroic last stand in Mogadishu.

Jacqueline Cochran - The most accomplished female pilot in history.

SEAL Team Six - The United States' elite counter-terrorist task force.

Albert Jacka - The most decorated Aussie of World War I.

Genevieve de Galard - The Angel of Dien Bien Phu.

Dudley Morton - WWII U.S. submarine commander who once destroyed an enemy ship with Molotov cocktails.

Jack Johnson - the first black Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the World

Witold Urbanowicz - Daring commander of the Polish 303 Squadron during the Battle of Britain.

Reinhold Messner - The world's greatest mountain climber.

Jennifer Musa - The Irish Queen of Balochistan.

Mustafa Kemal Ataturk - The "Father of all Turks", and a man so revered in his homeland that it's illegal to publicly insult him.

Hans-Ulrich Rudel - The most decorated combat pilot ever.

Lachhiman Gurung - Gurkha soldier who held off 200 Japanese with just one arm.

T'ai Djin - Shaolin Kung Fu Werewolf Grandmaster.

Dwight H. Johnson - Vietnam War tanker who got out of his tank to fight off an ambush with his pistol.

Anna Yegorova - WWII Sturmovik pilot and Heroine of the Soviet Union.

Buck Shelford - Rugby player has ball ripped off in first half, comes back and plays the second.

John Basilone - Marine Corps legend and hero of Guadalcanal and Iwo Jima.

Flora Sandes - The only British woman to serve in combat in WWI.

Leonard A. Funk - U.S. paratrooper who took out 40 Germans in 60 seconds.

Fridtjof Nansen - Arctic explorer, adventurer, scientist, and Nobel Prize winner.

Lothar von Arnauld - The most successful submarine commander ever.

Leonid Rogozov - Soviet surgeon removed his own appendix in Antarctica.

Mas Oyama - Godhand.

Juan Pujol Garcia - The most effective double agent of WWII.

Leo Major - One-man Canadian wrecking crew during WWII.

Lydia Litvyak - The highest-scoring female fighter ace ever.

Charles Upham - The only infantryman to win the Victoria Cross twice.

Hiromichi Shinohara - The greatest Japanese fighter ace you've never heard of.

Lewis Millett - Veteran of three wars led the last bayonet charge in U.S. history.

Mitchell Paige - One Marine on Guadalcanal takes on 2,500 Japanese and wins.

Aki Ra - Aki Ra is a Cambodian guy who disarms land mines with a pocketknife.

Bruce Crandall - Gutsy helicopter pilot repeatedly flew into a hot LZ to save his men.

Marie Curie - Invented the science behind chemotherapy and nuclear warfare.

Evel Knievel - The crazy daredevil whose insanity has become the stuff of legend.

Henry T. Elrod - WWII Marine Aviator takes on 22 planes by himself over Wake Island, then leads infantry in a desperate last stand.

Juliane Koepcke - 17 year old German girl survives a horrific plane crash and escapes the Amazon rain forest.

Fazal Din - Indian soldier won the VC for killing a Japanese officer with his own sword... after being impaled with it.

Buzz Aldrin - Fighter pilot, astronaut, moonwalker, face-puncher.

Amelia Earhart - America's most famous aviatrix.

Kenneth L. Reusser - The most decorated aviator in Marine Corps history.

Albert Johnson - The Mad Trapper of Rat River.

Paddy Mayne - Founding member of the SAS and hardcore WWII commando.

Ron Speirs - The cold-blooded Captain of Easy Company.

Australian Light Horse - The story of the last great cavalry charge in military history.

Che Guevara - Revolutionary, guerrilla fighter, and bloody executioner -- the man behind the t-shirt.

Han Solo - The badass gunslinger from a galaxy far, far away.

Paul Rusesabagina - The hero of the Rwandan Genocide saved over a thousand people from crazy machete-toting maniacs.

Winston Churchill - The greatest British ruler since the days of King Arthur.

Jason Voorhees - Happy Friday the 13th.

Grigory Rasputin - Infamous "Mad Monk" of Imperial Russia.

Nikola Tesla - King of the mad scientists.

Smokey Smith - Canadian hero of World War II took on an entire company of Panzers... and won.

Edwin J. Hill - Navy Boatswain saved his ship from destruction during the raid on Pearl Harbor.

Joseph Kittinger - USAF test pilot skydived from lower orbit.

Vasily Zaitsev - One of history's most successful and well-known snipers.

Imi Lichtenfeld - Israeli national hero and founder of the badass martial art Krav Maga.

Rick Rescorla - A true American hero (from Britain).

Eric Pianka - Field biologist who specializes in desert reptiles, buffalo, and falconry; and when he's not wrestling deadly animals he's working on his theories on human population control.

Jesse Owens - Athlete who gave Hitler a run for his dirty Nazi money during the 1936 Olympic Games.

Chuck Yeager - World War 2 pilot and the first person to ever break the sound barrier, Chuck tested planes, broke speed records, and trained astronauts for the United States for 3 decades.

Hiroo Onoda - After refusing to believe that the Second World War was over, Hiroo continued to collect intel on Allied troop movement in the Philippines until 1974.

Billy Bishop - Bishop kicked German ass in the skies, notching kills left and right, fighting The Red Baron's squad, and living to tell the tale.

Sir Edmund Hillary - Climbed Mount Everest AND came back down.

George S. Patton - US general in World War II, and whose actions define what it is to have balls.

F.A. Mitchell-Hedges - Spent his days being a living version of Indiana Jones, exploring dangerous territory and stealing treasure.

Chesty Puller - Rose through the ranks of the Marines from Private to three star General, busting all kinds of balls along the way.

Alexander Solonik - The Russian outlaw who had epic shooting skills and escaped some of the most remote prisons in the world.

Adnan bin Saidi - Staved the Japanese military off for two days with not much more than bayonets, brute force, and balls.

Alvin York - Single-handedly killed 28 German soldiers and captured 132 more in a single day, no big deal.

MacGyver - The spy who can make bitchin escape tools out of virtually nothing (and a little duct tape).

Benjamin O. Davis, Jr. - Flipped a large middle finger to segregation and became the first African-American general of the United States Air Force.

Thor Heyerdahl - Built ships out of seriously outdated materials to give the archaeological community something to scratch their heads at, and just for funsies.

Voytek the Soldier Bear - It's a bear that was a soldier. There is no other comparison to how cool that is.

Yogender Singh Yadav - Scaled a mountain to save his country in the amount of time it takes Chuck Norris to take a shit.

Godzilla - The product of nuclear detonations in Japan, this fuck of a monster uses Tokyo as his playground. Literallly.

Xie Jinyuan - No nonsense officer during the Battle of Shanghai who didn't take shit from anyone. Especially the Japanese.

Joe Simpson - When climbing mountains wasn't enough, this motherfucker started climbing ice. ICE.

Erwin Rommel - The Desert Fox - Hitler's most dangerous (and gentlemanly) commander.

Toshiro Mifune - Used his talent to create the standard image of Samurai to the modern world.

Ahmad Shah Massoud - The best thing that ever happened to Afghanistan.

Jack McCoy - He will cut your shit down, with justice.

Michael Wittmann - The top-scoring tank ace of all time.

Pancho Villa - Tried to take the corrupt rulers out of Mexico. At least he tried.

Indiana Jones - The most badass archaeologist to ever throw a Nazi into an airplane propeller.

Thain MacDowell - One of the bravest Canadian badasses in World War I. Proving that the Canadians weren't nice all the time.

The Predator - Your worst extraterrestrial nightmare.

Lyudmila Pavlichenko - Female Russian sniper with a dickload of confirmed kills.

The Punisher - Has no compunction about fucking your shit up after his wife and kid were murdered.

The A-10 Warthog - Pants-shitting awesome asplode machine.

Snake Eyes - A GI Joe so awesome they had to put testicles on the action figure.

Juan Pajota - Filipino guerilla fighter who freed a shit load of American POW's from a Japanese camp.

Jose M. Lopez - Single-handedly killed a dickload of Germans with a machine gun during WWII.

Dan Daly - One of only two people to receive the medal of honor twice.

Jack Churchill - The kind of ballsy WWII soldier who never went into battle without a sword.

Beck Weathers - Almost died scaling Mount Everest, but ended up walking down the mountain, in the dark, with frostbite in nearly every single appendage.

The Sateré Mawé - Keepers of the Bullet Ants, which is exactly what it sounds like.

John Wayne - The quintessential American.

Eddie Chapman - Ex-criminal that provided priceless information to the British during WWII.

Audie Murphy - The most decorated soldier in American history.

David Bleak - Combat medic who took down the enemy with his bare hands in order to save his buddies.

Simo Häyhä - More confirmed kills than anyone else in any other war. Just sayin'.

The Baroness - Female criminal mastermind, bane to GI Joes.

Zvika Greengold - Fought for Israel in the Yom Kippur War, and helped stave off the Syrians with seemingly no regard for personal safety, and with a giant set of balls.

The B-2 Bomber - The mother of all American bomber planes.

Steve Irwin - Craziest, coolest man to ever willingly shove his hand into a crocodile's danger zone.

Race Bannon - Bold enough to bodyguard Johnny Quest. Strong enough to pistol-whip bears to death.

Joe Medicine Crow - The last surviving War Chief of the Crow Tribe.

Jean-Pierre Hallet - The Most Interesting Man in the World meets Tarzan, in real life.

Sergeant Stubby - Pit bull terrier who saved hundreds of lives in WWI.

Viktor Leonov - Spetsnaz Naval officer and two-time Hero of the Soviet Union.

Doris Miller - The ship's cook who manned the .50 cal during Pearl Harbor.

Count Rochefoucauld - WWII French espionage expert who once stole a limo from the Gestapo.

George Orwell - The man who wrote 1984 once got shot through the neck by a sniper while fighting Fascists in Spain.

Alexander Solzhenitsyn - Russian dissident writer and WWII vet who survived the brutal Gulag system and lived to tell the tale.

Segata Sanshiro - The ultimate martial arts / video game master.

Zinedine Zidane - This guy's sense of revenge was so well-developed that he got tossed from the most important game of his life for headbutting his enemy out of spite.

Lennie Briscoe - This man has probably solved more homicides than the entire real-life NYPD combined.

Teddy Roosevelt - Adventurer, explorer, soldier, American President, Medal of Honor recipient, and Nobel Peace Prize winner.

Jules Winnfield - Samuel L. Jackson from Pulp Fiction. Nuff said?

Ellen Ripley - The most kickass chick to ever fry a horde of aliens with a blowtorch.

The Emperor - The cruelest, most sinister supervillain in outer space, this dude shoots lightning out of his balls and kind of looks like the Pope.

General Zod - Kneel before Zod!

Inigo Montoya - My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Warren G.H. Crecy - The baddest man in the 761st Tank Battalion, this guy was a Nazicidal maniac who mowed through the enemy and forgot about taking names.

John Carter of Mars - The original gangsta of kicking the shit out of aliens and macking on hot space babes.

Mick Foley - A no-holds-barred wrestler who never hesitated to jump off a cage and face-plant some thumbtacks as long as it made for good television.

Ernest Henry Shackleton - Probably the most insane Antarctic explorer in history.

John McClane - The ultimate action movie hero.

Rupert Murdoch - The closest thing to a James Bond villain that the real world has to offer.

Moby-Dick - A gigantic evil Sperm Whale that crushes ships by ramming them with his face.

Maddox the Pirate - The best pirate in the universe.

Eugene Jacques Bullard - History's first black combat pilot, and aviation hero of WWI.

Kefka - A psychotic evil clown who becomes Emperor of the World and then turns himself into a God.

The Panther Tank - One of the most effective and powerful tanks ever produced.

John Matrix - After terrorists kidnapped Alissa Milano, Arnold had to blow their heads off with a rocket launcher.

Ash - Good, bad, he's the guy with the gun. And the chainsaw arm.

The Blues Brothers - These guys are pretty much the coolest motherfuckers ever.

Stanislav Petrov - The man who single-handedly saved the planet from annihilation by disobeying a direct order to launch nuclear warheads at the United States.

Ivan Drago - The genetically-engineered Soviet super-athlete.

Sarah Connor - The toughest, most no-nonsense asskicking female action hero of all time.

Al Capone - America's most notorious bootlegger, and a hardcore Sicilian gangster who would just as soon machine gun you into gibs than piss on your burning corpse.

Starship Troopers - The worst/best movie ever.

Optimus Prime - A giant alien robot that transforms into a Mack Truck.

Muhammad Ali - The greatest.

Jackie Chan - One of the biggest icons in the history of martial arts cinema.

The Aggro Crag - The confetti-spewing death mountain that makes all other mountains look like flaccid micropenises.

The Hanta Virus - First you get a minor cold. Then you get better. Then you die.

Sho'Nuff - The Shogun of Harlem, and the baddest mo-fo, low-down, around this town.

Watermelon Monster - It's a cannonball with teeth that does kung fu and tries to bite peoples' nutsacks off. Seriously.

The BFG 9000 - When you absolutely, positively have to kill every motherfucker in the room.

Darth Vader - It's Darth Vader. If you don't at least have some vague idea of who that is, you're probably in the wrong place.

Drew Dix - The lone Green Beret who single-handedly saved a South Vietnamese town from the Tet Offensive.

Sekonaia Takavesi - Fijian SAS hero single-handedly held off 200 communists with an anti-tank cannon.

Vernon J. Baker - The only living black WWII soldier to receive the Medal of Honor, this guy personally led an assault on a fortified German castle.

Marie Colvin - Fearless war correspondent who spent a 30-year career embedding herself in every war-torn hellhole on Earth.

Slade Cutter - All-American football player and hardcore WWII submarine commander.

Joe Foss - 26-kill WWII fighter ace, former commissioner of the AFL, and one-time president of the NRA.

William Fairbairn - Martial arts badass and Shanghai cop who trained SAS and Marine Raiders in WWII.

John Paul Stapp - The Fastest Man Alive.

Candido Rondon - Amazon explorer and hardass Brazilian engineer.

Tarzan - The original noble savage, and one of literature's most hardcore badasses.

Cliff Young - "I like to finish what I start doing. I like to see it through to the end, to the best of my ability."

Saparmurat Niyazov - The most insane dictator you've never heard of.

Neil Armstrong - American hero.

Jacklyn H. Lucas - Dude jumps on two grenades, falls out of an airplane. Survives.

Jack Pritchard - One of the FDNY's most decorated firefighters.

Carl Akeley - Hunter, conservationist, killed a leopard with his bare hands.

Hawa Abdi - 65 year-old Somali gynecologist who saved thousands of lives and fought off local militias for 30 years.

Stagecoach Mary - Hard-drinking, hard-fighting Old West mail carrier.

Christopher Lee - World War II Commando, master fencer, Dracula.

Basil Plumley - 35-year Army veteran of three wars, decorated 40 times for bravery.

Chavin de Huantar - 14 heavily-armed terrorists take 500 of Peru's most senior political leaders hostage, and it's up to Peru's Special Forces to get them out alive.

Lead Belly - The hard-drinking, hard-fighting ex-con who killed two guys and then invented modern music.

Milunka Savic - The most decorated female soldier in military history.

Robin Olds - Three-time ace and USAF legend who obliterated everything from Nazi Me-109s to MiG-21 jet fighters.

Violette Morris - Professional race car driver, national champion in 20 sports, Olympic Gold Medal shot put and discus thrower, hated enemy of the French Resistance.

Desmond Doss - Combat medic receives the Medal of Honor for single-handedly carrying 75 wounded men out of a raging warzone.

Desmond Doss - Combat medic receives the Medal of Honor for single-handedly carrying 75 wounded men out of a raging warzone.

Desmond Doss - Combat medic receives the Medal of Honor for single-handedly carrying 75 wounded men out of a raging warzone.

Desmond Doss - Combat medic receives the Medal of Honor for single-handedly carrying 75 wounded men out of a raging warzone.

Desmond Doss - Combat medic receives the Medal of Honor for single-handedly carrying 75 wounded men out of a raging warzone.

Desmond Doss - Combat medic receives the Medal of Honor for single-handedly carrying 75 wounded men out of a raging warzone.

Oscar Charleston - The greatest and most badass baseball player you've never heard of.

Frederick Hobson - Canadian Sergeant takes on an entire company of German soldiers with a shovel and a bayonet.

The Valentine's Day Massacre - The most romantic thing to ever happen to 1920s-era Gangland Chicago.

Roy Benavidez - One of the toughest war heroes in American history.

Edith Garrud - The militant Suffragette who judo flipped cops.

Bob Crisp - Professional cricket player who smoked Nazis with a tank.

John Keller - The USMC veteran who saved 244 people from the mostly-submerged ruins of post-Katrina New Orleans.

Nancy Wake - The most decorated Allied servicewoman of World War II.

Battle off Samar - With the American invasion of the Philippines hanging in the balance, seven daring destroyer captains desperately hurl themselves against the biggest Japanese battleship fleet ever put to sea.

Roald Amundsen - The first man to conquer the South Pole.

M. M. Alam - The only man to ever become Ace in a Day from the cockpit of a jet fighter.

Lyle Bouck - 18 American recon troops hold off the entire 1st SS Panzer Corps in the opening hours of the Battle of the Bulge.

Adrian Carton de Wiart - Psychotic one-eyed British Army officer wounded 11 times in 3 wars across 3 continents.

The White Tights - A mysterious, possibly-mythical band of women snipers who have made life miserable for the Russians for decades.

Mariya Oktyabrskaya - When Nazis killed her husband, she bought a tank.

Tibor Rubin - Hungarian-born Concentration Camp survivor turned American war hero.

Andrei Sakharov - Created the biggest bomb in human history, received the Nobel Peace Prize.

David Vivian Currie - Canadian mechanic who sealed off the Falaise Pocket and trapped over 50,000 Nazis during the Normandy Campaign.

George Welch - One of the only American pilots to fight back during Pearl Harbor.

Larry Thorne - Finnish Special Forces commando fought the Reds while serving with three different countries in World War II and Vietnam.

Narcisco Ortilano - One Filipino warrior vs. an entire squad of Japanese infantry. Who ya got?

Charles C. Rogers - When the NVA threatened to overrun American artillery at a critical firebase, this 40 year-old math major met them with a bayonet and an assault rifle.

Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck - Undefeated German WWI commander, master of African guerrilla warfare, an a man who once told Hitler to go fuck himself.

Leona Woods - The only woman on the Manhattan Project, this physicist helped build the world's first nuclear reactor, then produced the fissionable material used in the first atomic bomb.

Walter Walsh - Badass gangster-hunting FBI agent, Marine Corps sniper, Olympic marksman.

Jalil Zandi - The highest scoring F-14 Tomcat fighter ace of all time.

Joseph Gallieni - Exactly one hundred years ago today, this man saved Paris by fighting the Germans with an army of taxicabs.

Eddie Loder - The most decorated firefighter in the history of the Boston Fire Department.

Bennie Adkins - 86 hours of combat, 18 wounds, 145 enemy soldiers killed, one Medal of Honor awarded 48 years after the fact.

Andrew Carnegie - Dirt-poor immigrant becomes the richest man in the world, then donates 90% of his money to charity.

Clive Dytor - Royal Marine Commando leads a bayonet charge against the Argentinians during the Falkland War.

Kevin Vickers - When a psychotic gunman attacked the Canadian House of Commons, this guy brought him down single-handedly in a badass gunfight.

Abdul Hafiz - Army lieutenant tells his men they are invincible, leads them on suicide charge, goes into psychotic blood rage. What else do you need from me here honestly.

Nina Onilova - Ukrainian orphan girl emulates her favorite movie hero by wasting Nazis with a belt-fed machine gun.

Douglas MacArthur - Fifty-two years of service, seventeen medals for bravery, a half-dozen outlaw shootouts, two World Wars, and the battle for Korea. One of America's most famous, controversial, and badass generals.

The Panzer 1000 - In 1942 Hitler approved the construction of a 1000-pound tank so ginormous it mounted naval artillery and had a vehicle bay that carried a couple of motorcycles. This is a real thing that happened.

The GIGN - One of the world's oldest and most combat-experienced counter-terrorist organizations.

BIG WIND - Two MiG jet engines mounted on a T-34 chassis to become the most badass firefighting vehicle ever created.

Spock - The most badass first officer in science fiction history.

King Abdullah II - When ISIS killed one of his pilots, the King of Jordan is rumored to have flown the lead F-16 on the mission for revenge.

Klondike Joe Boyle - Yukon gold-mining Secret Agent who managed a Stanley Cup hockey team, outfitted a WWI machine gun company, stole the Romanian crown jewels from a vault in Moscow, one fought a shark with a knife.

Avigdor Kahalani - One of the greatest armored warfare heroes in history, he held of an entire enemy tank brigade with just 30 tanks.

Georgy Zhukov - The man who won World War II.

Georgy Zhukov - The man who won World War II.

Georgy Zhukov - The man who won World War II.

Ben L. Salomon - U.S. Army dentist turn surgeon who head-butted an enemy soldier for threatening one of his patients.

The AH-64 Apache - The world's deadliest attack helicopter.

John McCain - U.S. Navy pilot who flew 23 missions over North Vietnam and survived nearly six years as a prisoner of war in the Hanoi Hilton, refusing to submit despite some of the most brutal torture in the modern era.

Jacob Pavlov - One man. One building. One million Nazis.

North Sentinel Island - Modern-day society of tribal badass warriors who have responded to ruthlessly defend their island against anyone who sets foot near it.

Jozef Pilsudski - The greatest warrior in modern Polish history, he escaped three prisons, defeated the Russian Army, and became hero to his people.

Douglas Bader - 20-kill fighter ace and Battle of Britain hero who kicked German ass despite losing both of his legs in a flying accident.

Joshua Wheeler - 20-year veteran of Delta Force who received 11 Bronze Stars and participated in a raid that saved 75 civilians from execution at the hands of ISIS.

Baron von Ungern-Sternberg - The "Bloody Baron," this psychotic World War I Russian cavalry commander swore to horrifically butcher all who stood in the way of him forging a revived Mongol Empire.

John Ripley - Single-handedly stopped an entire NVA armored division by climbing hand-over-hand under a 200-meter bridge to blow it up with explosives.

Virginia Hall - 30 year CIA and OSS veteran who spent all of WWII working behind German lines with the French Resistance. She's the most-decorated female spy in American history, and she did it all with a wooden leg.

Peter Freuchen - Peg-legged Danish polar explorer who lived with the Inuit, amputated his own toes with pliers, and once escaped certain death by making a knife out of his own frozen shit.

William R. Lawley - With his crew injured, his aircraft on fire, and his controls shot to pieces, a wounded B-17 pilot tenaciously attempts fights to get bring his crew home alive.

Big Bill Speakman - When Big Bill ran out of grenades, he single-handedly held off an entire Chinese brigade by throwing beer bottles and rocks at them.

Constance Markievicz - 20th-century Irish suffragette and revolutionary who fought the British with a nickel-plated six-shooter.

Felix Von Luckner - World War I German commerce raider who sank 64,000 tons of British shipping and destroyed 14 vessels. With a three-masted old-school sailing ship. And without killing a single person.

Douglas Munro - The only U.S. Coast Guardsman to ever receive the Medal of Honor.

Joe Beyrle - After escaping a Nazi POW camp, this American Paratrooper joined up with the Red Army and continued kicking Fascist ass.





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