About a month ago, I received the following email:
In my year or so of ardently reading about the many Badasses of the Week, one of the Badasses I have felt to be most deserving of the honor has never appeared. His name: General Zod. His occupation: Spreading slavery and increasing the strength of knees everywhere.
You may remember him from Superman II. Recall that he was so badass and arrogant that when the President said, "Oh, God," Zod corrected him, saying, "That's Zod." Essentially, Zod thought of himself as a deity; and what's even more badass is that he backed it up.
Surely you've not forgotten how he used his eye lasers to destroy all sorts of shit. And certainly you've not forgotten his grand, epic catchphrases that solidify him as a badass. "Come to me, Son of Jor-El! Come and KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!!" How is one not a badass for saying something like that?
On top of that, he's also a fantastic interior decorator. I get this from the way he described the Fortress of Solitude as having "no style" at all, so you must know that on Krypton he probably had the sweetest pad of all.
I needn't say more.
Respectfully (if I could give respect to anyone but Zod) and Forever Kneeling Before Zod,
After reading this, I was totally blown away that I hadn't put Zod up here yet, so I immediately sat down and started to write an article about him. However, after scrapping three separate attempts, I realized that there was little I could say that could improve upon this email. General Zod is a total badass who doesn't take crap from anyone. He fucking starts shit with Superman, he makes the most powerful criminal mind on the planet and one of the most diabolical villains in comic book history (Lex Luthor) his bitch and he forces the President declare him the Ruler of the Planet Houston. On top of that he has Superman-like strength, throws concrete slabs around like baseballs and shoots motherfucking LASERS OUT OF HIS EYES! What the hell else do you want from a Badass of the Week? General Zod is a superior being and the sooner we all recognize that and get to the kneeling the less painful this transition to absolute monarchy will be.
"We will bring him to his knees!"
"Yes, to ME!"